Sunday, March 26, 2006

MMA WTF...and I don't mean World Tae Kwon Do Federation

I was flipping through the trade journal MASuccess and came across this ad for Century's XMA (Xtreme Martial Arts) line of teaching/training materials. The ad highlights a school using XMA products.

Based on the ad, I have come to the conclusion that I have not, am not, and will not ever train Mixed Martial Arts. To do so you have to wear a surplus NASA jumper, carry glowstick weapons, and act or be approximately 7 years old. Your teacher may also just be a highly confused member of both the Black Panthers and the Aryan Nation.

Furthermore I'm doing this whole martial arts teaching thing wrong. I currently train in my garage or a surplus University warehouse and lose money each year being an instructor. I have one tenth (or less) the students and operating budget of XMAGrrl.

*sob* (blows prodigous nose)

This has to be a sign of the end of the world as we know it. Buy guns and Twizzlers...lots and lots of Twizzlers.

Black Sheep

As I was passing through the Medical Sciences Building Friday I glanced at the announcements board and saw a map of the United States with the graduating medical students' pictures pinned at the location of their matches.

All of them.

Except me.

My exalted rank of black sheep remains unchallenged. Now I'm generally opposed to other people announcing my personal events. I can but you cannot. I did not attend the Match Day dinner, primarily because I thought it was juvenile and I wanted to celebrate with my friends in my fashion. I also didn't really see the point in celebrating. It is nearly impossible to fail out of medical school, matching was like everyone winning first place in a competition with one person brackets. I have no doubt that my entire class will be successful wherever they match, so we seem to be celebrating the irrelevant. I was also having a ball doing primary care in my Family Practice clerkship and working actually seemed more fun. By the time I got home Thursday, everyone's match results were announced. Again my business, my call, But that choice was made for me. The fact it happened is not important, the fact that it was done without my consent is.

Based on the above, why am I annoyed that my picture wasn't posted? I'm not really, it was a minor oversight. However if the results are announced they should be done so universally. Perhaps I feel like pariah because I was resoundingly informed that I had been demoted to a repeat third year even though I figured out that I could graduate with my original class of fourth years. Subsequently retooled my schedule to be a good M3 but was then able to match as third year and be suddenly promoted back into my M4 class. I did no away clerkships and applied to one program a week before the match closed. If you haven't noticed the black sheep has large horns and a thick neck, we can pretend to do things your way, but eventually I'll batter my way through the barricades of bureaucratic confusion and do things my way. It's as inevitable as death, taxes, and hypertension.

And yes I'm skipping graduation. I'm a BAAAAHstard.