Sunday, March 26, 2006

MMA WTF...and I don't mean World Tae Kwon Do Federation

I was flipping through the trade journal MASuccess and came across this ad for Century's XMA (Xtreme Martial Arts) line of teaching/training materials. The ad highlights a school using XMA products.

Based on the ad, I have come to the conclusion that I have not, am not, and will not ever train Mixed Martial Arts. To do so you have to wear a surplus NASA jumper, carry glowstick weapons, and act or be approximately 7 years old. Your teacher may also just be a highly confused member of both the Black Panthers and the Aryan Nation.

Furthermore I'm doing this whole martial arts teaching thing wrong. I currently train in my garage or a surplus University warehouse and lose money each year being an instructor. I have one tenth (or less) the students and operating budget of XMAGrrl.

*sob* (blows prodigous nose)

This has to be a sign of the end of the world as we know it. Buy guns and Twizzlers...lots and lots of Twizzlers.


Ilovescotch said...

Extensive research has shown twizzlers cause cancer. Other extensive research shows scotch does not. I'd prefer Glenfiddich over sucking/chewing on a long red thing if my life was almost over.

Anonymous said...

yeah, i read that post, and i know i'm supposed to be shaking my head in disgust, but really, i wanna be an MMAGrrrrl too. because a nasa jumpsuit, glow-in-the-dark weaponry, and barbie underoos are totally freakin hot.