Sunday, March 26, 2006

MMA WTF...and I don't mean World Tae Kwon Do Federation

I was flipping through the trade journal MASuccess and came across this ad for Century's XMA (Xtreme Martial Arts) line of teaching/training materials. The ad highlights a school using XMA products.



Based on the ad, I have come to the conclusion that I have not, am not, and will not ever train Mixed Martial Arts. To do so you have to wear a surplus NASA jumper, carry glowstick weapons, and act or be approximately 7 years old. Your teacher may also just be a highly confused member of both the Black Panthers and the Aryan Nation.

Furthermore I'm doing this whole martial arts teaching thing wrong. I currently train in my garage or a surplus University warehouse and lose money each year being an instructor. I have one tenth (or less) the students and operating budget of XMAGrrl.

*sob* (blows prodigous nose)

This has to be a sign of the end of the world as we know it. Buy guns and Twizzlers...lots and lots of Twizzlers.

2 comments:

Ilovescotch said...

Extensive research has shown twizzlers cause cancer. Other extensive research shows scotch does not. I'd prefer Glenfiddich over sucking/chewing on a long red thing if my life was almost over.

welfareloser said...

yeah, i read that post, and i know i'm supposed to be shaking my head in disgust, but really, i wanna be an MMAGrrrrl too. because a nasa jumpsuit, glow-in-the-dark weaponry, and barbie underoos are totally freakin hot.